BENEFIT FROM HELL - THE SHOCKING SEASON FINALE!

It was a Who's Who of Fratpad as everyone gathered at the Fratpad Banquet Hall for the Skavery Foundation for People with Horrible Skin's First Annual Charity Benefit. Inside, the Housewives assisted mtoeta with the finishing touches as the crowds began pouring into the hall.

“When do I go on stage to sing?” asked BuckB.

“When do I get to plug Tru Re-Doo?” asked PhoinixBlue, who was wearing a lovely beaded black Gap t-shirt with Banana Republic skinny jeans and Prada boots.

“Bucky, you go on right after Charo,” answered mtoeta. “PhoBlu, you go on after Bucky.”

“Hold up,” said Hulko44. “I'm the party planner. BuckB, you are up first!”

“Thank you!” said BuckB. “Fuck Charo!”

“PhonixBlu, you can go on after BuckB as long as everyone gets a free sample of Tru Re-Doo!” said Hulko44.

“Listen,” said Howdy. “When do I get to go on stage to promote my book Secrets of a Methodist Mutha?”

“I read your book, Howdy,” replied Hulko44. “It sucks.”

“Why are you so quiet tonight, JustJayJ?” asked Herm. “Have you been sinning?”

“No,” said JustJayJ. “Big Whopper dumped me last night.”

“Aww,” said the Housewives in unison.

“It's okay,” replied JustJayJ. “I'll find another rich man to love me and shower me with gifts.”

“Hurry up,” Hulko said to mtoeta. “Go on stage and get the show started!”

mtoeta strutted up onto the stage and signaled for the festivities to begin.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and Fratmen! Welcome to the First Annual Charity Benefit for the Skavery Foundation for People with Horrible Skin!” announced mtoeta. “Please allow me to introduce my darling daughter, Skavery!”

Skavery came up on stage and joined her mother in the spotlight.

“I would just like to thank everyone for coming out tonight,” said Skavery. “My mother would like all of you to donate to the foundation, and I'm hoping to score some coke and cock tonight. I love all of you and I hate my mother very, very much!”

 “Thank you Skavery!” said mtoeta. “Our first guest will be appearing at the fabulous Flopicana Casino and Resort in Atlantic City next weekend but we have her here first! Please welcome singing sensation BuckB!”

BuckB sashayed onto the stage and took the microphone from mtoeta. Just then, BuckB had a shocking realization – she forgot to bring her AutoTune! Always brave, BuckB sang anyway.

"My ears are bleeding!" screamed Skavery.

"Your face is bleeding, too!" exclaimed Herm.

“Thanks Buck,” said mtoeta. “And now if all of you check your tables, you will find a complimentary jar of Tru Re-Doo beauty cream courtesy of PhoinixBlue!”

Everyone excitedly opened their jars of Tru Re-Doo and began applying the cream to their faces.

“Oh my God!” exclaimed JustJayJ. “This smells like shit!”

“It smells exactly like shit!” said Herm.

Everyone was horrified as they came to a grave realization.

“It IS shit!” exclaimed mtoeta. “Tru Re-Doo is made from poo!”

“Tru Re-Doo is made from poo!” agreed JustJayJ.

“True Re-Doo is made from poo!” the audience angrily chanted. Tru Re-Doo is made from poo!”

“What can I say?” shrugged PhoinixBlue. “I poop well.”

“This night is a complete disaster!” cried mtoeta.

“At least Tyreese didn't show up!” smiled Herm.

“Greetings, everyone!” said Tyreese as she strolled into the Fratpad Banquet Hall. “I'm here to present a check for $1,000 to the Skavery Foundation!”

“Why thank you, Tyreese!” said mtoeta. “Bless you!”

“I also have a gift for you, Herm!” smiled Tyreese. “Say hello to your father!”

All eyes turned on the man standing next to Tyreese.

“Eek!” screamed Howdy.

“Holy shit!” said BuckB.

“Aye dios mio!” exclaimed PhoinixBlue. “Necesito hacer caca!”

“Daddy!” cried Herm.

“Big Whopper?!?!” exclaimed JustJayJ.

“Hostmaster John is Herm's father?” asked mtoeta in disbelief.

“Hostmaster John is Big Whopper?” asked Howdy in shock.

“Herm, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you while you were growing up,” said Hostmaster John. “And I'm sorry about always banning you from Fratpad. But I'm going to make it up to you.”

“Make it up to him?” asked Tyreese. “What about fucking with his mind? That's why I tracked you down, damnit!”

“Tyreese, you are a shit-fucking skank-whore from Hell!” screamed Herm. "You are EVIL and I am GOOD! Good always defeats evil, mmk?"

"You want evil?" asked Tyreese. "Oh, I'll give you evil!"

Tyreese dropped to her knees (as usual), then held her arms up in the air.

"Evil spirits," Tyreese called.  "I command you to manifest yourselves in the form of the Evil One! Bring me the DEVIL!"

Just then, the lights flickered and a deafening scream filled the Fratpad Banquet Hall as a horrible smell filled the air.

"Jesus take the wheel!" screamed Hulko44.  "Tyreese is calling on the Devil!"

Smoke filled the banquet hall as The Evil One rose out of the ashes and made himself visible for all to see!

"Nooooo!" screamed Howdy.

"Someone save us!" shouted JustJayJ.

"So I'm pretty sure this party officially sucks now," said mtoeta.

"He's here!" smiled Tyreese. "The Evil One!"

"The only thing worse than a demon is a stupid demon," said Tyreese as she shook her head at Fratmen Jackson.  "Now shut up and do something evil to destroy Herm!"

"Ok," said Jackson as he pulled out his small, oddly shaped penis and pulled back his foreskin.  As he did this, millions of cockroaches came running from under the foreskin of his small, oddly shaped penis!

"Oh my God!" screamed PhoinixBlue.  "It's an army of cockroaches! And they are coming from his dick!!"

"Doesn't everyone have roaches living inside their foreskin?" asked Jackson. "Isn't that why they are called cock roaches?"


"Save us Herm!" begged BuckB as a giant roach landed in her wig. "You are our only hope!"

Herm bravely stood before Jackson, with hands raised to the Heavens.

"The power of Herm compels you!" screamed Herm. "The power of Herm compels you!"

"The power of Herm compels you!" the crowd chanted. "The power of Herm compels you."

"You have no power over me," said Jackson. "Because I don't even know what the word compels means!"

"Well, what about this?" asked Herm as he threw a bucket of water on Jackson.

"Oh no!" screamed Jackson.  "I'm melting!"

"Yay!" applauded the crowd. "He's melting!"

As Jackson melted away into nothing, Hostmaster John came forward and shook Herm's hand.

“Herm, I am retiring and moving to Sweden to be closer to the band Abba,” said Hostmaster John. “I'm leaving Fratpad to you to run as you see fit.”

“Daddy!” said Herm as he hugged Hostmaster John.

“Fratpad was supposed to be MINE!” said JustJayJ. “Me and Leo were going to run the entire Fratpad Empire together! What the fuck is this all about?”

“Well Tyreese, you didn't destroy Herm,” said mtoeta. “You only made him stronger!”

“Just wait til next season!” spat Tyreese. “Revenge!”