TYREESE'S BOOK CLUB

It was a fateful day in Fratpad when Herm called her best buddy, PhoinixBlue. Herm was excited to share some exciting news with PhoBlu.

“What is it?” asked PhoBlu, who was wearing a black DKNY t-shirt with “FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS” spelled out in sequins.
“I've decided to find my birth father,” exclaimed Herm.
“That's fabulous and dramatic!” squealed PhoinixBlue.
“So what about you?” asked Herm. “What are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing,” replied Phoinix. “I've been reading a book...”

In fact, all of the Housewives had been reading the same book – Banned! The Unauthorized Biography of Herm by Jackie Collins had become an overnight bestseller in Fratpad ever since Tyreese found out about it and shared it with everyone.

Meanwhile, JustJayJ, BuckB, Howdy, mtoeta, and Tyreese got together to dish the contents of the book.

“This book is shocking and unusual!” exclaimed JustJayJ.
“Do you think it is true?” asked BuckB.
“Umm hmmm,” nodded Howdy. “It says on page 214 he was arrested!”
“And he changed his name!” stated mtoeta.
“He changed his name many times,” confirmed Tyreese. “We know him as Herm, but others have known him as JesusLvr21 AND JesusLvr22.”
“And Regina,” piped in JustJayJ. “Don't forget Regina!”
“Listen,” said Howdy. “Hermie is harmless. He can have as many names as he wants, mmk?”
“I seem to remember a time when you went by the name Precious,” Tyreese said to Howdy.
“Never mind that,” said Howdy, as he quickly gobbled an Egg McMuffin.

“The bottom line is that if everything in this book is true, Herm is not someone we want around our families and our children,” stated JustJayJ.
“Who has children?” wondered mtoeta.
“Herm has never fit in,” said BuckB. “Each of us have achieved success, fame, and fortune – except for Herm!”
“That's true,” replied JustJayJ. “I am a famous blogger, Howdy owns Hawaiian Airlines, mtoeta is the CEO of Wigs, Weaves, & Beyond, BuckB is the head of programming for Bravo, PhoinixBlue is William Hung's personal stand-in, and Tyreese is the host of Guess My Venereal Disease on the Discovery Health Channel. But what about Herm? He's not famous or successful. She's like a termite that attached himself to us!”
“And it's time we un-attach Herm!” replied Tyreese.

"May I puh-leeze change the subject?" asked mtoeta.  "I'm organizing a fabulous benefit for my favorite charity and I want all of you to be there!"
"That sounds exciting," exclaimed JustJayJ. "Count me in!"
"What is the charity?" asked Howdy. "Will there be free food?"
"As you all know, my beautiful daughter Skavery suffers from a rare skin disease," said mtoeta. "I'm very fortunate to have a disease in the family so I don't have to do benefits for homeless people and actually have to touch someone who isn't rich and fabulous like me."

Later, after sending complimentary copies of Banned! The Unauthorized Biography of Herm by Jackie Collins to the entire membership of Fratpad and Fratmen.TV, Tyreese called his long lost cousin Gayle King, and asked her to make a suggestion for her best friend Oprah's book club...
 
Meanwhile, when Herm's private investigators didn't turn up any information on his biological father, Herm went one step beyond and hired a team of world-famous Nazi Hunters to find his father.
 
"If they can find Nazis, surely they can find my father!" reasoned Herm.
 
But, finding his father wasn't Herm's only goal...

 

To Be Continued...