SEASON PREMIERE: "STRIKE OUT"

A dense fog fell over Fratpad as the Original Housewives continued their strike for higher wages. It was cold and damp on the picket line, but the Wives were not giving up.

“More money for Howdy!” chanted Howdy, as she bit into a cheeseburger.

“Fair wages for all,” yelled JustJayJ.

“Thicker, stronger, more absorbent bathroom tissue in 2011!” screamed PhoinixBlue.

Meanwhile, the New Housewives were settling into the roles. Psydekick had just called a meeting with the new cast to go over their responsibilities.

“May I have your attention, please?” asked Psydekick, as she adjusted her wig. “We have a lot to go over!”

“I have a question,” stated Louis_MI. “Will I be able to go over the technical aspects of the cameras to ensure that I look my best in High Definition resolution?”

“I miss Dallas,” said Christian1989. “I really miss him a lot.”

“Hey,” ShaunnyShaun chimed in. “Where is Brandon2010? And Lindsay Lohan? Where is she?”

“I have some bad news,” said Psydekick. “Lindsay Lohan is in rehab with Skavery, the shockingly horrific daughter of mtoeta, and Brandon has been banned!”

“Banned!” gasped Louis, Christian, and Shaunny. “Why?”

“For reasons known to her!” explained Psydekick.

“I don't want to do this show if Lindsay Lohan isn't going to be in it,” said Louis_MI. “I was hoping to do an age-inappropriate lesbian love scene with her!”

“I miss Lindsay Lohan,” said Christian1989. “I miss her a lot.”

“Housewives! Don't let this get us down,” encouraged Psydekick. “We can still make this the best season of The Real Housewives of Fratpad!”

“How can we do that?” asked ShaunnyShaun.

“We have to get Howdy, JJ, mtoeta, Hulko, and the others back!” said Pysdekick.

Later that evening, Hulko44, PhoinixBlue and BuckB were waiting for Howdy and Herm to relieve them on the picket line.

“Hulko, I'm about to fall asleep!” exclaimed BuckB. “I've been holding this picket sign for ten hours!”

“Me too,” replied Hulko.

“Howdy was supposed to be here hours ago to relieve us!” exclaimed PhoinixBlue.

“I'm so sleepy,” said BuckB as she laid down on the grass.

“I don't think anyone will notice if we take a nap,” said Hulko, as she and PhoinixBlue joined Buck in taking a nap.

Just then, Howdy arrived with her picket sign and box lunch. She started walking on the picket line when she heard a sound coming from the forest.

“Howdy..... Howdy.....” said the voice.

“Who is there?” asked Howdy, but she got no answer.

“Howdy, come here.....” said the voice from the forest.

“I recognize that voice,” smiled Howdy. “You're the drive-through cashier at McDonalds! Can I have a Number Two?”

“Number two?” said PhoinixBlue, as she awoke. “I need to go number two.”

“Listen,” said Howdy. “I'm talking to the McDonald's drive-through in the forest!”

Suddenly, Psydekick and ShaunnyShaun appeared from the forest.

“Hi ladies,” said Psydekick. “We want to make you an offer you can't refuse!”

“Will I get a raise?” asked Howdy.

“Yes,” said ShaunnyShaun.

“Will I get a one year supply of Charmin?” asked PhoinixBlue.

“Yes,” answered Psydekick. “As long as all of the Orginal Wives return to the show!”
“I don't know about all that,” said BuckB as she awoke from her nap.

“I think we better ask JJ and mtoeta before we agree to anything,” said Hulko as she woke up.

“We agree!” exclaimed JustJayJ as she joined the others, followed by mtoeta and Tyreese.

“We do?” asked BuckB.

“Herm has broken the strike already,” explained JustJayJ. “We've lost our bargaining chip.”

“What happened to Hermie?” asked Howdy.

“She was banned, for reasons known to her!” exclaimed JustJayJ.

“Poor Herm!” exclaimed PhoinixBlue. “What will she do now?”

“Herm wasn't banned,” said Tyreese. “She ran away from me! She fears me!”

“Herm is just fine,” said mtoeta as she folded her arms and rolled her eyes at Tyreese. “She fullfilled her lifelong dream by opening “Forever Pink”, an anal bleaching salon on Broad Street in Philadelphia!”

“And she's doing very well,” chimed in JustJayJ.

“Yes,” agreed mtoeta. “In fact, Herm and her salon will be featured in an upcoming episode of Tabatha's Anal Bleaching Salon Takeover!”

“Tabatha!” sighed Hulko. “I'm sooo jelly!”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Psydekick.

“What's wrong?” asked Tyreese.

“I've just been handed a telegram,” exclaimed Psydekick. “It's from Louis and Christian! They've ran off to find Brandon and Lindsay Lohan!”

“Oh well,” said ShaunnyShaun. “At least the rest of us will be on the show.”

Never one to be outdone, JustJayJ was handed a telegram.

“It's from Leo!” exclaimed JustJayJ. “He's asked me to be a Hostmaster for EbonyU!”

“Hostmaster?” asked mtoeta.

“EbonyU?” asked Hulko.

“Smell you later, gurls!” exclaimed JustJayJ. “I'm going to go help Leo make a fortune!”

“It looks like it's just the eight of us now,” said Tyreese. “But I have a feeling this really is going to be the best season ever – without Herm!”

At that very moment, Herm finished working with a VIP client at the Forever Pink salon.

"Don't worry about a thing, Lindsay Lohan,” smiled Herm. “Your asshole looks as pink as it was before you turned to drugs, sex, and alcohol!”

Herm slipped off her plastic gloves and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

“Don't think I've forgotten about you, Tyreese,” smirked Herm. “You're in for a big surprise!”


TO BE CONTINUED...